Planning a wedding may seem like agreeing to everything your fiancé says, but if you want to get in on the action or you both intend on sharing the wedding planning duties, you’re going to require a little guidance. From choosing your groomsmen to writing your groom's speech, this ultimate groom guide will have you covered – sit back, relax and take note of the all-important details you don’t want to miss!
Before delving into specific duties, you probably want to know what a groom is responsible for at the wedding. In this groom guide, you’ll find a range of topics including choosing your groomsmen, planning the wedding rehearsal dinner, and what duties you should consider before the big day. The groom’s responsibilities may differ depending on whether you’re hosting a traditional wedding or a modern-day celebration. However, traditional duties of the groom include the following:
Besides these traditional groom responsibilities, consider other big decisions like choosing your wedding and reception venue, entertainment, and catering for the event. You may be able to leave these details to your fiancé, depending on how much input you both desire.
Being a groom means that you need to be organized for all your plans to stay on track. Here is an in-depth look at the pre-wedding duties of a groom and how to make sure everything goes off without a hitch.
Choosing your wedding party – The groom normally starts the selection with their siblings. If you have one or more brothers then you’ll probably want to include them in your wedding party. Similarly, if you have sisters, the bride may want to include them as bridesmaids. If your siblings are too young to serve as groomsmen or bridesmaids, offering them the chance to be an usher, flower girl, or ring bearer is the perfect way to include them in your celebration. You’ll also want to consider good friends. Choosing the most reliable people is a good idea as you’ll need assistance with wedding planning, including finding attire and planning the bachelor party.
Choosing groomsmen attire - Finding your wedding suit can be a fun experience. After all, who doesn’t want to feel like James Bond at least once in their lives? However, there are a few things to keep in mind when selecting your attire. First, you don’t want to overshadow your bride-to-be, but you do want to stand out from your groomsmen. Ask your fiancée what type of dress she plans on wearing. Also, consider what style of wedding you’re hosting. If it’s a formal affair then a tux or a smart black or navy suit may be appropriate. If your wedding is more laid back, then a casual suit in a brown, beige, or grey hue is flattering. Whatever style you choose, ensure you find a good tailor as a great suit depends on the fit and cut.
Choosing thank you gifts – Giving your groomsmen and bride wedding gifts is the ideal way of saying thank you. Traditionally, gifts are given after the rehearsal dinner, but there's no harm in breaking the rules, so feel free to share gifts at any point of your celebration. This can even be well in advance of the wedding if you prefer to use your gifts as a way to formally ask friends and family to be part of your wedding. When choosing your gifts, go for something memorable, practical, and unique. You may decide to opt for something personalized to symbolize your valued relationship or you may want to opt for something a little unique like a hot air balloon ride or tickets to a sports game. It's best to set a budget for your gifts – this is something to discuss with your fiancé. Remember, you’ll both need to purchase gifts for smaller roles like flower girls too.
Choosing wedding rings – When it comes to finding stunning wedding rings you can relax a little. This duty is best completed together so you can both give your input and choose complementary or matching bands. When choosing your wedding rings, think about style – do you prefer embellished or simple bands? What color of metal do you prefer? Remember to choose a timeless style as you’ll be wearing your ring for years to come. Considering the maintenance of your bands will also help you to select the best rings for you and your fiancé.
Planning your bachelor party – There are no rules to planning your bachelor party. If you love surprises and aren’t afraid of the possibility of lap dances or rowdy bars, then leaving the details to your groomsmen is the best way to go. However, if you’ve already got some great ideas in mind, you might want to share these with your wedding party. Either way, remember to think about your guest list, location, and timing. Having an alcohol-fueled party the night before your wedding may not be the best idea.
The first dance – if you suffer from two left feet, you may be petrified at the thought of your first wedding dance with your bride. Fear not! There are plenty of dancing classes you can attend to brush up on your skills. If you prefer to practice in private, ask a relative or friend to help you.
Finding the perfect honeymoon – Planning your honeymoon will depend on your fiance’s wishes. Perhaps she likes the idea of you planning a surprise or maybe she prefers to share the responsibility of finding the perfect honeymoon destination. Your honeymoon doesn’t have to take place right after your wedding. Many couples choose to honeymoon weeks or months after their big day, especially if you have a tight budget to consider. It’s common for couples to take a minimoon after their wedding and their honeymoon later on. However, plan your honeymoon early to avoid the stress and expense of last-minute arrangements. When choosing your destination, think about what you both enjoy – are there any activities you both love? Do you both enjoy beach vacations or city breaks? If you’re planning your honeymoon without the help of your fiancée, remember to add some little details to surprise her. Keeping the destination secret or packing a few bags to amaze her with a special trip are just two ideas.
The wedding rehearsal dinner is traditionally hosted the night before the wedding by the groom’s parents. This is your chance to relax with an informal dinner and get to know the full wedding party. During your rehearsal dinner, you’ll be able to thank those that have helped with your wedding planning over the past few months. You aren’t required to have a rehearsal dinner but it’s a great way to spend time with your family and friends before the big day. A rehearsal doesn’t need formal attire – you can throw on your t-shirt and jeans if you like. Be fun or creative, as the choice is completely yours. Here are a few things to keep in mind if you’re planning a wedding rehearsal dinner.
The perfect groom’s speech should both entertain and commemorate the very special occasion. If you’re worried about writing a groom’s speech that delivers the perfect balance of fun and sentimental value, take some advice from these tips;
While the groom’s speech can be daunting, try to relax! As long as you’re prepared and are sincere in giving your speech, you’ll have nothing to worry about. If you’re feeling nervous, practice in front of a friend or relative beforehand to help ease your mind.
If you’re writing your own wedding vows, you’re going to need inspiration. You and your bride to be can write similar vows or you can choose to say varying vows to each other. Traditionally, as the groom, you will say your vows first, but some couples decide to say them together or let the bride say her vows first. When writing your wedding vows, sit down with your fiancé to discuss what the tone and sentiment will be. You want your vows to last between one to two minutes so you need to factor this in during the writing process. Writing your own vows can seem challenging but when you see your bride at the altar, it will all be worth it. A few things to remember to include;
If you don’t intend on paying for the wedding yourself, or your family has offered to help financially then you’ll need to know who pays for what in a wedding.
These rules aren’t set in stone – the best way to work out costs is to set a budget and sit down with your families to discuss arrangements.
With this ultimate groom guide, you can take the stress out of planning a wedding and look forward to an incredible day with your bride and loved ones.
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